بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
الحمد الله
AlḥamduLilāh Allāh سبحانه و تعالى has blessed us nowadays with having many Islamic seminars in which we learn His Din. We find that these events are organised by brothers and sisters who have to occasionally get into a small discussion to solve an issue. Even though these brothers and sisters follow the command of lowering the gaze, they often fall into other disobediences related to such conversations. Shayṭān being evil as he is lures the brother or sister into the flirtatious talk or even something similar to it which is clearly forbidden by Allāh سبحانه و تعالى when He سبحانه و تعالى addresses the Ummahāt Al Mu’minīn,
يَا نِسَاءَ النَّبِيِّ لَسْتُنَّ كَأَحَدٍ مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ ۚ إِنِ اتَّقَيْتُنَّ فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.” [1]
In this piece of writing, I would like to, inshā’Allāh, elaborate on the devil’s deception of the flirtatious talk by using the classical sources of Tafsīr.
فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ
As-Suddi and others رحمهم الله said, this means, do not be gentle in speech when addressing men.
‘Abdullāh bin al ‘Abbās رضي الله عنهما said commenting on this ayah, “Do not be vile in speech nor soft in voice.”[2]
Ibn Zayd رحمه الله said, “The softness in conversation which is hated between women and men that has a (bad) affect to the hearts of men (i.e. provokes ill behaviour).” [3]
Imām Al Qurṭubī رحمه الله writes in his Tafsīr, “Allāh سبحانه و تعالى has commanded them to be short and concise in their words (i.e. for short duration) and distinct in their speech.”[4]
Imām Al Samarqandī رحمه الله comments on this verse, “Don’t have mildness in speech and that is tenderness in words.”[5]
This does not mean that a brother or sister should start shouting at each other or something of the like. It basically means that their conversation should be consisting of short and concise words that are said without the tenderness and softness but with a strong tone. This is all because Allāh سبحانه و تعالى says,
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا ۖ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا
“And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fāḥishah”[6]
Allāh سبحانه و تعالى did not say وَلَا تَفْعَلُوا الزِّنَا i.e. “Do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse…” thus it is an obligation upon us to stay away from any act that leads us to zinā
Imām Al Māwardī رحمه الله mentions six points regarding this phrase of the ayah:
1) Do not be gentle in speech
2) Do not be vile in conversation as said by ‘Abdullāh bin al ‘Abbās رضي الله عنهما
3) Do not be lowly in words as said by Al Farā’ رحمه الله
4) Do not be obscene in speech as said Al Ḥasan رحمه الله
5) It is a talk (i.e. mentioned in the ayah) in it resembles doubtfulness.
6) It is that talk of women that have impact to the hearts of men as mentioned by Ibn Zayd رحمه الله[7]
فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ
There has been a difference of opinion amongst the scholars of interpretation of the word مَرَضٌ:
Opinion 1:
مَرَضٌ in this verse means nifāq (hypocrisy) and this is the opinion of Qatādah رحمه الله[8]
Opinion 2:
مَرَضٌ in this verse means desire and lust to commit adultery/fornication and this is the opinion of ‘Ikrimah رحمه الله[9]
Imām Al Ṭabarī رحمه الله gives his own explanation, “He in whose heart is a disease of weakness should be moved with desire and that is the weakness of Imān in his heart.” [10]
وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا
Ibn Zayd رحمه الله said: “Decent and honourable talk that is known to be good.” [11]
Al Ḥāfidh Ibn Kathīr رحمه الله then says, “This means that she should address ghayr maḥram men in a manner in which there is no softness (i.e., a woman should not address a ghayr maḥram man in the same way that she addresses her husband).” [12]
‘Abdullāh bin al ‘Abbās رضي الله عنهما said, “They are commanded to enjoin good and forbid evil.”[13]
Imām Al Māwardī رحمه الله mentions three points regarding this phrase of the ayah:
1) Correct and proper words as mentioned by Al Kalbī رحمه الله
2) Pure and sober words as mentioned by Al Daḥāk رحمه الله
3) Nice and decent words[14]
So in conclusion, Allāh سبحانه و تعالى in this ayah tells us how to avoid one of the many paths that lead to the horrible act of zinā of which talking to the opposite gender is one. And indeed He سبحانه و تعالى knows best.
[1] Qur’an Al Karīm, Surat Al Aḥzāb , ayah 32
[2] Tafsīr Ibn Kathīr
[3] Tafsīr Al Ṭabarī
[4] Tafsīr Al Qurṭubī
[5] Baḥr Al ‘Ulūm
[6]Qur’an Al Karīm, Surat Al Isrā’ , ayah 32
[7] Al Nakat wal ‘Uyūn
[8] Tafsīr Al Tabarī
[9] Ibid
[10] Ibid
[11] Tafsīr Ibn Kathīr
[12] Ibid
[13] Tafsīr Al Qurṭubī
[14] Al Nakat wal ‘Uyūn